(no subject)

NSFW 2017-06-27 15:01

Moar exercise

2017-06-27 19:51
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[personal profile] hooloovoo_42
I've been swimming regularly, doing a km a week. After work today I went for an induction at the gym.  A very nice young lady, who was probably still in nappies the last time I went to a gym, showed me around and gave me instructions on how the high tech machines work.  I'm booked in for a goal setting session next week so I can get a personalised plan.

Somehow, between all of this and Jado, I'm gonna have to get fitter, aren't I?  Hopefully, by January, my grading may not be so knackering physically, however much they try and push us mentally. 
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[personal profile] twistedchick
My grandmother Nellie had a younger brother, Jack, who was friendly and cheerful and helpful and became a baker (and all-around general cook, but that was later). He taught my mother his recipe for piecrust, and it never failed either of us: behind cut -- my comments in ( ) )

Jack was the kind of character that I wish I'd met when I was older -- I think I met him once when I was 4, which wasn't that memorable. As I said, he was a baker, and he was engaged to this girl that everyone in the family liked (which might have been difficult, since Jack was the youngest of 9 and the family tended to be protective of their littlest brother, never mind that he was in his 20s.) And on the day of the wedding ... she didn't show up. Neither did his best man. They'd eloped.

It broke his heart. He couldn't stay in the Ottawa Valley any more; it was just too uncomfortable. So he took a job as a cook on a ranch in Alberta, took the train west, and came back at Christmas when he could. He taught my mom to knit, because he knew how to knit his own socks, and held her skeins of yarn for her while she wound them into balls, telling her stories of the ranch all the time. He taught her how to make piecrust, and a cake that wouldn't fall, and a lot more. Nellie would write to him and get frustrated when he didn't reply -- someone from the ranch would stop at the post office in town once a week or so -- so after two attempts that got no answer one year she put on the address, "If not claimed within two weeks, addressee is deceased; please return to sender." He wrote back really fast after that, and made a big joke of it.

When he came back during World War I, both his parents were dead (his mother a few years earlier but his father died in about 1917-1918) and were buried out in the little cemetery by the river church, without a headstone. He went around to visit all his brothers and sisters, asking for a little money to pay a stone cutter, and got nowhere. And yeah, he could understand that farmers and small merchants had a hard time during wartime, but there was family pride at stake too. So he dug into his own pocket, and one day a gravestone, a tall, elegant granite marker, appeared over their graves. Engraved on it was, "Sacred to the memory of Daniel and Catherine McNeely," and their dates and I think (it's been a while since I saw it) a pious verse of some sort. But in another line, underneath, "Erected by their son, John McNeely." Nobody in the family took it badly, and some found it really funny, but under it all people were grateful that it had been done. And they all thought it was very much a Jack thing to do.

When he died in the late 1960s, after several years in a nursing home back in the Ottawa Valley, near family, he was buried near his parents, and the marker was altered to add his name and dates.

So, please, use Uncle Jack's Piecrust Recipe, and welcome, and pass it along. I don't want it to vanish into the place where good memories go when nobody remembers them any more.

(no subject)

2017-06-27 14:51
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[personal profile] thornsilver
My mood has rapidly approached awful.

I am really not happy to be here today. I would consider taking tomorrow off, but I am legit worried that I will not be able to force myself to go back.

(no subject)

NSFW 2017-06-27 14:34
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[personal profile] bubblesbrnaid
( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )
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[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This is an advance announcement for the Tuesday, July 4, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. This time the theme will be "gender, orientation, and identity." I'll be soliciting ideas for QUILTBAG folks, queer allies, homophobes and other identity bigots, boomerang bigots, gender scholars, the oppressed, the misunderstood, ordinary people, outcasts, abuse survivors, the women that men don't see, questioning, debating labels, losing everything, looking in the window, taking people for granted, surviving oppression, hiding in the closet, coming out, upstanding, speaking truth to power, punching up, protesting, telling your own story, bedrooms, classrooms, counseling offices, churches, government buildings, libraries, cities, alleys, bars, parades, liminal zones, self-discovery, self-awareness, QUILTBAG pride, pride flags, other symbols of identity, birth control, reproductive freedom, sex toys, assumed male gaze, same-sex marriage, alien sex/gender dynamics, unpaid labor, self-sacrifice, emotional labor, disruptions, subversive education, humility, humiliation, social evolution, appreciation, identity literature, and poetic forms in particular.

I have a linkback poem, "The Emulsification of Humankind" (14 verses, Torn World). 

If you're interested, mark the date on your calendar, and please hold actual prompts until the "Poetry Fishbowl Open" post next week.  (If you're not available that day, or you live in a time zone that makes it hard to reach me, you can leave advance prompts.  I am now.)  Meanwhile, if you want to help with promotion, please feel free to link back here or repost this on your blog. 

New to the fishbowl? Read all about it! )

[syndicated profile] seattlereviewofbooks_feed

Those special snowflakes in the so-called "men's rights movement" have targeted Australian bookstore Avid Reader Bookshop for sharing a post by feminist writer Clementine Ford. In response, Avid Reader's social media manager has been working overtime revealing the MRAs for the ridiculous babies they are:

A customer delivered an "anti-troll" sour cream and walnut cake to Avid Reader's booksellers, which certainly seems like it should become a tradition when the Nattering Nabobs of Nincompoopery target an innocent bookstore for basically no reason. Unfortunately, this seems like it might become a semi-regular occurence.

[syndicated profile] puckdaddy_feed

Posted by Greg Wyshynski

The Hockey Hall of Fame Class of 2017 was a study in contrast.

There was Paul Kariya, who had 989 points in 989 games, in a career cut short by injury. The induction of players like Pavel Bure (702 games) and Eric Lindros (760) made the world safe for Kariya, who made an unquestioned impact in a short time frame in the NHL.

Then there were Dave Andreychuk and Mark Recchi. Andreychuk played 1,639 NHL games, scoring 640 goals in that span with 1,338 points in total. Recchi played 1,652 games, scoring 577 goals with 1,533 points. They both retired at age 42, playing effective hockey well into their fourth decade on this mortal coil.

“It was an honor to play 22 years. To stay healthy through that was never easy. Taking care of myself on and off the ice was a huge part of it. Being mentally prepared to play the game was a huge part of it,” said Recchi.

They’d be the first to tell you that their candidacies for the Hall were not built on “Fame.” Neither Andreychuk nor Recchi had the starring roles that Teemu Selanne or Paul Kariya had. They were supporting players, even in their best years: Recchi hit 54 goals and 123 points playing on the Crazy 8s line with Eric Lindros; Andreychuk had 53 goals in 1993-94 on a team that say Doug Gilmour score 111 points.

I know this bothers some people that consider Hall of Fame enshrinement to be for the true stars of the game, the elite of the elite, players who truly made an impact during their time in the NHL.

Yet I’m trying to figure out how longevity has somehow been deleted from the description of “impact.” How doing what Andreychuk and Recchi did during their marathon careers isn’t, in its own way, as laudable as what Kariya did in his tragically shorter one.

The counterargument was made by Colin Fleming of Sports Illustrated, who wrote that Andreychuk and Recchi are what he deems “compilers” rather than true Hall of Famers.

What increasingly matters for me is doing something at elite levels, in unique ways and making stylistic impacts on the game. Changing components of it. I’d rather see a peak of six seasons, from a mercurial player, who did what he did better than anyone else ever has, or close to it, than 30 goals and 70 points year in, year out, for fourteen years.

That’s fine, although the “stylistic impact” argument would limit the Hall of Fame to about five players a generation. (Although it was a great one to make when it came to the candidacies of Bure and Lindros.)

What I’d take issue with is the notion that longevity, and effective play in the totality of a player’s career, can’t be considered an “elite level” in and of itself.

From Quant Hockey, a summary of NHL player career lengths through the 2013-14 season:

A typical career of an NHL player can be summarized with one word. Its short! Over half of all NHL players play less that 100 games during their career and for approximately 5 percent of players, their first NHL game is also their last. If we look at this from a different angle, long careers are extremely rare. Only 4 percent of players (that’s 1 out of 25) dress up for more than 1000 games.

And then you have players like Andreychuk, who won his only Stanley Cup at 40, and Recchi, who won one at 37 and then again at 42.

Look, if judged by “Fame,” these guys fall short of the standard. If judged by individual awards, they … don’t have any. If judged by “stylistic impact,” it’s hard to say that an immovable object in front of the net on the power play and a 5-10 pug known as the “Wrecking Ball” are really shifting the paradigm for playing style like, say, Nicklas Lidstrom did.

They have the career numbers – Andreychuk is No. 14 all-time in goals, while Recchi is No. 12 in points – but not those several straight years of dominance that other Hall of Famers have. And obviously some people are content with explaining away those numbers as “well, you complied them over a long career.”

Except that’s the point: They won the war of attrition vs. the NHL.

They played through pain, through injuries, through massive shifts in how the game was played. (Although in Andreychuk’s case, there’s no question that the shift to positional defense in the 1990s probably helped add years to his career.)

(And by positional defense I mean the Trap, but I’m a Devils fan, so…)

And in the end, after over 1,600 games for both of them, there is absolutely no debating that they have Hall of Fame numbers. Top 15 in goals or top 15 in points all-time punches your ticket every time, even if you have to wait as Andreychuk did.

And if the debate is that they only earned these tickets because they played into their 40s, so what? They thrived, excelled and succeeded in a sport that’s inherently violent and injurious, and in a League that’s designed to physically decimate players by the championship rounds.

We all have our own thoughts on what the Hall of Fame should be, but I came to understand what this Hall of Fame is a few years ago when Clark Gillies was inducted: It’s place where all kinds of greatness is lauded. Where an enforcer has a plaque near Bobby Orr, or where a stay-at-home defenseman has a plaque near Rocket Richard, or where Dave Andreychuk’s 640 “garbage” goals will have a plaque near Wayne Gretzky’s 894 mini-masterpieces.

You can point to Gillies and tell the next generation “here is what the sport was, and here is what he did and why he’s here” and you can point to Recchi and say “this guy played more games as a player than the Nashville Predators have as a franchise, and here’s why that’s an incredible achievement in hockey” and you can point to Andreychuk and say “there are guys in this league they never want to pay the price in front of the goal like this guy did.” It all tells the story of the NHL. It’s just that some chapters are more compelling than others.

Greatness comes in many forms. Including long-form.

Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

MORE FROM YAHOO SPORTS


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[personal profile] laurel
Hey look, it's [personal profile] kevingaustin! (My husband, who rarely posts things, but showed up because I pointed out I was posting here from time to time. Some of you know him and may want to grant access and/or subscribe to him.)

Golden Hill

2017-06-27 18:32
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[personal profile] tealin


To my great bafflement, it has taken this long for Golden Hill to be released in the US – a multi-award winning highly readable romp through colonial New York, you’d think it’d be obvious, but there you go.

Anyway, here is the main character, Mr. Smith – I roughed these out last year when I read the book, but have only just made them as pretty as I’d like.

Do give Golden Hill a shot if you like
  • fun
  • peril
  • interesting characters
  • meticulous research
  • very satisfying historical fix-it fic

Mr Smith is superficially similar to Moist von Lipwig, which made it a little difficult for me to get a grip on the book at first, because I couldn't see into his head as clearly as Moist's (whose internal world is what really sells the book, IMO), but boy oh boy that was totally worth it for the sake of saving the reveal for the end – the sort of reveal that makes the re-read at least as satisfying as the first.

I don't know about you, but I find most of my recreational reading these days ends up being very serious news and commentary about how much of a mess we're in. It's nice to get a break like this and lose yourself in another time and place, without being devoid of meaning.

Supplemental material – including a rather comprehensive catalogue of 18th-century slang – can be found on the book’s Tumblr.

The Cuckoo Clock

2017-06-27 09:55
[syndicated profile] seattlereviewofbooks_feed

When I was a girl
I wanted to live
inside of one.

A wooden, small
place to hold me.
I was in love

with its bird
face. I imagined us
married. The dream

of domesticity. Keeping
house à la bric-a-brac
or conversation piece.

But time has told
what makes them tick.
More machinations

than magic. Dark
pastoral scenes
and a stiffness

crowns the eaves.
Clockmakers all carve
the same male game

in their overhang.
Reared buckhorns
and alpha beasts —

They rule the ornate
roost. And it’s a heavy
pull on me. Those two

coniferous strung
weights dangling
their gonadal hang.

#resist spreadsheet

2017-06-27 13:41
executrix: (Default)
[personal profile] executrix posting in [community profile] thisfinecrew
Spreadsheet of actions fighting AHCA/BCRA; you can add your own group's actions to the spreadsheet:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1TxjyXhCxst8HgqZZym4iXIRirWJs16Qar5AnEr4fy0o/edit?usp=sharing
klgaffney: photo of two turkey buzzards in flight (turkey buzzards; vulture girl; freedom)
[personal profile] klgaffney
Miss Mousie and W are trying to put up a volleyball net in the backyard.

The vultures are very excited about this potential new toy. 'YAY NEW PERCH/SUNNING POST FOR US Y/Y?' There have been several attempts to approach and investigate, climb and land on the poles.

Mousie was last seen stomping back up to the back field, muttering something about winged cats.

(The solution will involve taking it back down until her friends actually show up, so the birds don't get tangled up or hurt.)

[EDIT: Nope, never mind, they have suddenly Decided they hate the net, and now they won't even so much as fly over it. They land all the way on the other side of the field, walk around it and into the barn. They are so weird.]

*random* One of these days I will get around to swapping out my turkey buzzard icon for a pic of our vultures.

IN other, less fun news, our insurance company sent us a list of the repairs they want us to make on the outbuildings, including the barn. I would love to fix up our barn too! Being able to preserve that bit of history would be amazing; I would love nothing better! Please send us a big box of money, and we'll get right on that.

In more heartening news, I woke up to more responses to my new job hunting inquiries and quite a bit of activity around my profile, so maybe the repairs can happen sooner rather than later.

Also the twins have had their annual physical so they are cleared to participate in Sheriff's Youth Week; we are forced to conclude that there is no evidence that they are either aliens or changelings.

(no subject)

2017-06-27 10:40
bridgetmkennitt: (Default)
[personal profile] bridgetmkennitt
There are two new pinch hits available for claiming for Not Prime Time.

There's still time to sign up for [community profile] fic_corner if you haven't just yet. Here is more information about signing up.

I bought a hair color dye box thing yesterday because I'm going to attempt coloring my hair. At home. For the first time (at home part, not getting my hair colored. That was always infrequently at salons). This will be interesting, so I hope I don't screw up. My hair is super black naturally, so I'm just hoping to get some sort of color.

Last night, I managed to talk to my best friend on the phone in what feels like ages. We've both so busy that sometimes we'll send texts to each other, but they're always so short and blah. This was a lot better as we got caught up in each other's lives.

I have fics to write, but all I want to do is nap. Maybe I'll nap for a bit. We'll see.

(no subject)

NSFW 2017-06-27 13:40
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[personal profile] bubblesbrnaid
( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )
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[personal profile] newredshoes
Okay. Okay, this thing that I've been pouring hours into for more than month -- it's here. It's finally live. I am so proud of it. I am already thrilled and overwhelmed by its reception!! It definitely started with a late-night annoyed tweet, and now it's a 2,000-word examination of how and why we form and curate cultural memory. Thanks, Wonder Woman!

"Why Do So Few Hollywood Movies Take Place During WWI?" - Pacific Standard (a very big deal!!)
Going to the movies became a ubiquitous means of participating in patriotic culture closer to World War II. The Great Depression halted most memorial-building in its tracks, as memorials required huge local investments. In the 1910s, when movie palaces were still new, they became sites of moral panic for civic and community leaders concerned about sexual looseness and the corruption of American youth, even as only about one-third of the total population attended each week. However, by the 1920s, that number rose to half, and, by the 1930s, two-thirds of Americans took weekly trips to the movies. During WWII, studios supplied hundreds of fictional films torn from the headlines.

Simple, hagiographic narratives about the war predominated. In titles like So Proudly We Hail! (1943), Hell Is for Heroes (1962), and Saving Private Ryan (1999), WWII was "the good war," waged by the U.S. to crush fascism and imperialism. Hollywood did work closely with the War Department to produce pro-war documentaries during the war. But, historically, even films that are not government-funded, or those that have questioned American wars, have largely refused to condemn those who fight it. It is perhaps easier for film studios to sell a vision of Americans as principled heroes fending off all-threatening evil, rather than naïve young men fighting in a conflict of ambiguous nobility.
There's so much more! I got to talk to some amazing people! My job doesn't pay bupkis but the work can be so good!! (And if you feel inclined to share, you can credit me at [twitter.com profile] ejbergdahl.)

Eobard Thawne too

2017-06-27 18:05
beccaelizabeth: my Watcher tattoo in blue, plus Be in red Buffy style font (Default)
[personal profile] beccaelizabeth
Just rewatched the season one ep with Mardon and the tsunami.
Thawne is such a dick.
Read more... )

(no subject)

2017-06-27 12:07
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[personal profile] sheafrotherdon
Today is PTSD Awareness Day! Do you have questions about PTSD that you've been afraid to ask? Wondered about stuff that you couldn't find an answer to online? Been curious about something? Feel free to ask me - I am so, so happy to talk about everything I know about PTSD. ♥
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[personal profile] hollymath posting in [community profile] awesomeers
It's challenge time!

Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.

Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished!

Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!

Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.

Go!
[personal profile] ron_newman posting in [community profile] davis_square
Yes, it's that time again. Broadway between Ball and Magoun Squares will be closed to traffic this Thursday, June 29, for a street party followed by fireworks at 9:15 pm. Before the fireworks, enjoy outdoor performances by the United States Air Force Heritage of America Band, local Disco-Funk band Booty Vortex, and the Somerville Sunsetters. Full details, including other street closures and parking restrictions, here.
[syndicated profile] marksdailyapple_feed

Posted by Mark Sisson

I’m thrilled to introduce the launch of an exciting new direction for our educational and publishing ambitions here at Primal Blueprint: The Primal Endurance comprehensive online multimedia educational mastery course. Quite simply, this endeavor brings the Primal Endurance book to life with a robust library of instructional and interview videos, audio content, and digital books based on content in the Primal Endurance book and podcast.

Like our Primal Health Coach course, your course enrollment avails you to an online portal where all the content is thoughtfully organized and easy to navigate. You’ll be able to stream or download the Primal Endurance book and audio book, numerous other eBooks and audio programs, and access a massive library of videos consisting of interviews with the world’s leading endurance athletes, coaches and trainers—as well as leading experts in health, science and medicine.

There are over 120 videos in this course, hitting you from every direction with impactful content to help you achieve the primary objective of the Primal Endurance approach: escape chronic cardio and become a fat burning beast!

Brad Kearns, my co-author on Primal Endurance, hosts the online course. He traveled the continent conducting the expert interviews, and also walks you through the entire content of the book in carefully structured, bite-sized videos aligned with the book chapters. If you’re too busy to read or if you like to augment your book knowledge with video instruction, this course is for you. Here are just a few examples of the valuable video content:

Screen Shot 2017-06-27 at 10.00.21 AM

Chapter by chapter presentation of the book content, consisting of both lectures and practical instruction. You’ll get everything from step-by-step recipe videos, running technique instruction and drills, swim technique instruction and drills, and a series of “Finishing Touches” videos giving you concise marching orders to become healthy, happy, stress-balanced, fat-adapted Primal Endurance athlete.

  • Olympic triathlon gold medalist Simon Whitfield shares his deepest feelings about what made him a champion, how he lost perspective with his mindset and logistics, and how he made a dramatic turnaround to return to the Olympic medal stand with a silver 8 years later.
  • Former Los Angeles Lakers Strength and Conditioning Coach Tim DiFrancesco takes you through five mobility flexibility exercises so you can discover your weaknesses and high injury risk areas, then delivers corrective exercises to get you a rock solid performance foundation.
  • Movement Nutrition Queen Katy Bowman discusses the critical importance of engaging in more frequent and varied forms of everyday movement, and warns against manifesting the “lazy athlete” mentality where you are overly sedentary outside of your devotion to regular workouts.
  • Mobility WOD and Crossfit San Francisco legend Kelly “K-Starr” Starrett reflects on the athlete mindset, the need for a foundational, comprehensive training approach instead of shortcut approach, and the intricacies of proper hydration.
  • Dr. Phil Maffetone, the pioneer of aerobic training and balancing fitness with health, shares the secrets of his 30+ year journey guiding endurance athletes away from breakdown and toward health and longevity.
  • Dr. Cate Shanahan scares the heck out of you, detailing the dangers of consuming refined vegetable oils and sharing how to improve your fat burning capabilities both on and off the race course.
  • Kimmie Smith and Dr. Dawn McCrory deliver a complete self-myofacsial release program using Yoga Therapy Balls. You’ll not only work through your rough spots, you’ll stimulate a parasympathetic nervous system response that’s guaranteed to help you completely unwind from a busy day of work and/or training.
  • Fat- and keto-adapted ultramarathon running star Zach Bitter details the powers of keto-adapted endurance performance, including how he ran all night for 40 miles of pacing at Western States 100, consuming only water and liquid amino acids.
  • Ageless wonder multiple world champion triathlete Pete Kain becomes your personal trainer with a demonstration of assorted creative gym exercises with the Bosu ball, stretch bands and a fun progression of core exercises from beginner to awesome “feel the burn” level 10!
  • Primal Endurance’s own Lindsay Taylor, Ph.D, ironman triathlete, behavioral psychologist and Facebook Primal Endurance Group hostess, talks about the psychological aspects of successful endurance training – setting healthy goals (and recommitting each day), and cultivating intrinsic motivators.

It’s no secret that endurance athletes struggle from over-training syndrome, difficulty reducing excess body fat, and dietary patterns that promote carbohydrate dependency. The Primal Endurance Mastery Course liberates you from these hazards so you can pursue ambitious goals while preserving your health and maintaining a balanced life. You’ll follow a simple, enjoyable, intuitive approach that is less stressful, less exhausting, and that enables you to go faster on less total training time.

Screen Shot 2017-06-27 at 10.03.55 AM

In the process, you will enjoy an effortless reduction of excess body fat that is so elusive when you train in the old chronic cardio/carbohydrate dependency paradigm. Instead of doggedly following rigid schedules and weekly mileage obligations, you’ll become flexible and empowered to always make the best decisions to protect your health and build fitness.

No more frustration with recurring illness, injury, and burnout episodes that leave you discouraged! The simple, commonsense principles of Primal living and training are appropriate for all enthusiasts—from elite professionals to raw beginners.

If you want to see what the course is all about before pulling the trigger, Brad Kearns has created a series of videos called “9 Steps to Becoming a Primal Endurance athlete.”

This content will give you a good feel for what the course material covers, but you will be absolutely blown away at the volume of content in your digital library, especially the exclusive, in-depth interviews from some of the greatest endurance athletes of all time and also some of the leading health, performance and medical experts in the endurance scene, particularly the burgeoning fat-adapted and keto endurance scene.

You can also check out the Primal Endurance Facebook Group if you want to engage with Primal Endurance enthusiasts. This is a private space to share thoughts openly, and to get input and support from others as you embark on this journey to living and training Primally.

BARSAre you ready to gain mastery over the challenges of endurance training? I’m offering this course—with lifetime access to all the resources here PLUS ongoing members-only support and additional educational materials we add over time—for a special introductory rate you won’t want to miss. It’s limited time only, so don’t wait! And just to sweeten the deal, I’m throwing in a free pack of my PRIMAL KITCHEN® Coconut-Cashew Bars for the first 100 people who sign up.

Want to learn more? Check out more about the course here. This course is near and dear to my heart, folks. I can’t wait for you to join me and see what we can make possible for your training success and lifelong health. Thanks, as always, for your support.

Screen Shot 2017-06-27 at 10.11.13 AM

phc_640x80

The post Introducing the Primal Endurance Mastery Course! appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

So, It's Tuesday

2017-06-27 10:54
oracne: turtle (Default)
[personal profile] oracne
I watched the first few episodes of Lucifer with C. last weekend, and we commented on how, in real life, we'd be running the other way from that guy and his come-ons and insinuations.

I'm still thinking on the idea of angelic punishment, Lucifer's raison d'etre, because what does it accomplish, really, in the end? Those harmed by the punishee were still harmed, and will still suffer from it; that is not changed, and especially if the victim is dead, what do they gain? It all depends on your feelings about revenge, I suppose. Is the punishment of a criminal an act of justice, or is it merely a momentary strike against pain that already occurred? Punishment and justice can be very different things.

In boring news, my thigh still hurts; I discovered this by not taking a night dose of anti-inflammatory for two nights in a row and self-assessing each morning.

I complain about exercising when I'm forcing myself to get moving and go, but I also complain when I cannot exercise, because there is no winning here. I would really appreciate the stress relief and sense of virtue that comes after a workout.

I probably won't play softball this week, even though we have two games. Agh.

Hopefully, all my muscles will not dissipate by the time I have no more resting pain/ache and can once again drag myself to the gym.

I did read three books this week, which hasn't happened in a while.

Going out to dinner with friends tonight, which ought to cheer me up.

Also, a big deadline at dayjob yesterday appears to have gone okay. Go me.
[syndicated profile] bbc_technology_news_feed
A 2.4bn euro fine is celebrated by Google's critics but others view the punishment as misjudged.

Pinch hits

2017-06-27 09:08
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[personal profile] bridgetmkennitt posting in [community profile] npt_admin
There are 2 pinch hits that need to be claimed. If you'd like to write for one of them, please comment below with which pinch hit you'd like and your AO3 name. Comments are screened. 24 hours later, a name will be chosen randomly for each pinch hit.

Pinch Hit #9 )

Pinch Hit #10 )

Useful Links
Not Prime Time 2017 (with schedule) | Prime Time Madness 2017
Frequently Asked Questions | AO3 exchange faq for participants | Pinch Hitting faq
2017 nomination tag set
Dear Prime Time Player on DW
2017 Requests available on AO3 | in a txt file
capriuni: Text: If you want to be a Hero, be Good to the Storyteller. (Default)
[personal profile] capriuni
The Monsters' Rhapsody: Disability, Culture, & Identity entered the world as an ink-and-paper bundle of joy on August 4, 2016.

In that time, 17 copies have sold: 3 to me (for technical reasons) and 14 to other people.

Somewhere on YouTube, I watched a vid of a panel of authors talking about self publishing, and one of them said that even when you get published via the traditional route (unless you're a Big Name Author that the publishing house is actively promoting), selling 200 copies a year is par for the course.

Considering that she was talking about prose books, and (if I recall correctly) her own work was of a traditional fiction sub-genre, and my book is poetry and it has an esoteric focus (unlike, say love poetry, or straight-up autobiography/confessional/abuse survival), I'm rather pleased to be within sight of 10% of that.*

Anyway, yesterday, I got it into head to try and convert my book from ink-and-paper to pixel-and-silicon by August 4, this year. ...

And this was after the computer I composed the book on died, so I had to re-download the PDF Lulu.com has on file, and go through the whole thing and rework the format to make it ebook compatible. ... My Inner Critic is fretting and chewing her fingernails, 'cause whoever first composed ebook algorithms didn't take the requirements of poetry into account at all (like allowing extra lines between stanzas).

So wish me luck.



*(shameless plug) If you'd like to help me get to a full 10% of Par For the Course, you can buy the book either at Lulu.com (where there's a 20% discount, and I earn $1.69):

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.


or on Amazon (where there is no discount, and I earn $0.03 from the U.S., and $0.33 from the UK [no, I have no idea why I get more money from a foreign-to-me seller])
(/shameless plug)
[syndicated profile] downgoesbrown_feed

It’s been called the day of the year when NHL GMs make their biggest mistakes. And now, July 1 is almost here. While most Canadians will be busy painting their faces and setting off fireworks, the hockey world will be keeping an eye on the wire for the latest signings.

Most years, that means watching the unrestricted free agents. But this year’s class isn’t an especially strong one. There’s Kevin Shattenkirk, and we’re all breathlessly waiting to see which teams he pretends to be interested in before signing with the Rangers. There are respected veterans, like Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau and Jarome Iginla. Alexander Radulov might get there, and Ryan Miller will be available. But as far as dramatic storylines, this year’s UFA class won’t have all that much to offer.

So instead, let’s turn our attention to the other July 1 class: players who are already under contract, but will become eligible to sign an extension. The CBA dictates that players on multi-year contracts can sign extensions one year before their current deal expires. And that means we’ll have plenty of big-name players who can re-up with their current teams as early as Saturday.

No doubt, plenty of negotiations have already taken place behind the scenes. Some players will sign almost immediately. Some might take a few days or weeks to get a deal done, like Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane in 2016. And others could head into the season without a new deal, Steven Stamkos or Anze Kopitar-style, which will no doubt cause some frayed nerves for their team’s fan base.

So today, let’s look at some of the bigger names who are eligible to steal the headlines from this year’s UFAs on July 1.

Carey Price

Price is one of two true superstars still in their prime who’ll be eligible for unrestricted free agency in 2018. With a recent Vezina and Hart Trophy on his resumé, he’s widely considered the best goaltender on the planet. Now he’ll have a chance to be paid like one.

But is it possible that it won’t happen in Montreal? The Canadiens have been an unpredictable team in recent years, both on and off the ice. They made headlines by trading Price’s friend P.K. Subban last year, and we can’t say for sure exactly how that sat with the goaltender. Price has also had to endure an injury, playoff disappointment and a coaching change, and his team still can’t score any goals for him. Could he secretly have his eye on the door?

Well… not really, no. As juicy a story as that would be, there’s been little indication of any true animosity between the Canadiens and their franchise player, and he’s explicitly said that he plans to stay. We won’t know for sure until the ink is dry on a new deal, but all indications are that it will happen, and probably quickly.

But the story won’t end there. While Price will almost certainly re-sign in Montreal, the question of how much it costs could loom large. Barring some sort of hometown discount, Price could become the highest-paid goaltender in the league. The top cap hit at the position right now belongs to Henrik Lundqvist at $8.5 million. That contract seems like a bit of an outlier — it’s over $1 million more expensive than the second-highest-paid goalie, Sergei Bobrovsky — but it should be in the ballpark for Price. If he wants even more, Marc Bergevin probably won’t have much choice.

Whatever Price winds up getting, Habs fans will be fine with it as long as he can maintain his recent level of play. But how much room does that leave Bergevin to sign guys like Radulov or Andrei Markov, or to get a new deal done for Alex Galchenyuk (if he’s still on the team)? And can Bergevin get a Price deal nailed down quickly enough to know what he’s working with when bidding on this year’s UFA market?

As always in Montreal, we’ll get some off-season drama. It may not end in another star player leaving town, but we’ll see how long the story drags on.

>> Read the full post at Sportsnet

(no subject)

2017-06-27 10:47
yhlee: two voidmoths at war (hxx Raven Stratagem)
[personal profile] yhlee
An interview [Lightspeed Magazine] by Christian A. Coleman. Note that the interview mainly discusses Raven Stratagem, so there are spoilers for Ninefox Gambit. I also hint at what's coming in the third book, Revenant Gun.

MARKED - Oops, hiatus. :(

2017-06-27 15:35
aldersprig: an egyptian sandcat looking out of a terra-cotta pipe (Default)
[personal profile] aldersprig
MARKED - Oops, hiatus. :(

So I’m on vacation and totally forgot to actually get my twitter contact info while I was gone so I can’t… do the polls.
Argh.
Sorry about the hiatus! We’ll be back with the poll next Monday (the 3rd) and pick up the updates again on the following Thursday.


read on...
[syndicated profile] puckdaddy_feed

Posted by Greg Wyshynski

The naked photo of Joe Thornton and Brent Burns taking a faceoff, an excerpt from the ESPN Body Issue, is one of those images that we’re going to look at in 25 years like Bobby Clarke’s missing teeth smile or Terry Sawchuk’s scarred face. It’s iconic, for the moment.

It perfectly captures the modern NHL player – less than zero percent body fat on a large frame, those tats – while also perfectly capturing the unkempt aesthetic of the San Jose Sharks’ stars, all smiles and scraggily beards.

To that end, it’s hard to imagine Burns and Thornton on other teams, and harder to imagine Joe Thornton playing somewhere that’s non the San Jose Sharks. This is a player who wielded his no-trade clause like a giant rubber stamp with VOID written on it when GM Doug Wilson was looking to reconfigure the team. This is a player who wanted nothing more than the life he has in the Bay Area, and to play for that franchise, and to retire a Shark.

But now he’s turning 38 years old in July, he’s without a contract and both he and the Sharks have to make a decision about his long-term future in the NHL.

Thornton wants a three-year deal. We know this because his camp has said it time and time and time again. That’s great, in theory, and there’s no question that Jumbo has much left in the tank. It’s also true that a plus-35 contract that could carry a cap hit north of $6 million is a very, very scary thing when that player will be 41 in the final season of it.

From Elliotte Friedman, via Fanrag:

“I don’t know if he’s ready to move, but I think there’s a lot of teams that are going to reach out to him to gauge his interest. Joe Thornton may not be the captain in San Jose anymore, but he’s a huge part of that community. He likes it there. He likes his teammates. He’s still a dominating presence in the room. I mean, there are guys who know him who say they can’t see him leaving.

“But he wants some term. And it’s always dangerous with a guy his age to give him term. The belief is that San Jose has some extensions done on July 1 – Martin Jones, Marc-Edouard Vlasic, who are unrestricted in a year from now, but I think they’re going to get those done. So what’s left. What’s left for Thornton. I think there’s a lot of teams – Nashville, maybe Toronto, Montreal, Rangers – I even wouldn’t be surprised if a team like Columbus, who are all-in in the next two years, would call and say, ‘What would it take.’”

If Thornton and the Sharks decide to move on, Montreal and the Rangers are both really intriguing.

The Canadiens have an obvious need for a true centerman – if only so they can temporarily knock off this ‘let’s just make Jonathan Drouin one!’ nonsense – and Thornton adds another veteran leadership voice to that room. He also has a relationship with Shea Weber and Carey Price. It’s not outlandish.

The Rangers have $20 million in cap space and could easily just slide Thornton into Derek Stepan’s former salary slot – with the knowledge that he put up 50 points at 38 and Stepan put up 55 at 26 last season. He’s friends with Rick Nash as well, so there’s a connection there.

So there’s interest, which means there’s at least a little leverage on the part of Camp Thornton when it comes to the Sharks if they want him back. Do they want him back?

“These guys have been cornerstones of this franchise,” GM Doug Wilson said of Thornton and fellow UFA Patrick Marleau, to the Mercury News. “We’ve got some high-profile players and quality people. But how we feel about Joe and Patty and what they’ve done for this franchise, the standards they have set, just the quality of people and you sometimes have to make tough decisions. But make no mistake, our respect and appreciation for them will never end.”

But will that appreciation manifest itself in one last contract between Thornton and the Sharks?

Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

MORE FROM YAHOO SPORTS


badly_knitted: (I'll Take This One)
[personal profile] badly_knitted posting in [community profile] fffc




Title: Mini Summer Bingo Blackout
Fandoms: Torchwood & FAKE
Author: [personal profile] badly_knitted 
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Owen Harper, Team Torchwood, OCs, Dee Laytner, Ryo Maclean, JJ Adams, Drake Parker, Bikky Goldman, Carol, OCs.
Rating: G to PG
Word Count: 2700
Spoilers: Not really.
Summary: A selection of triple drabbles spread across both fandoms
Content Notes: A bit of everything, I think.
Written For: Challenge June Special: Mini Summer Bingo
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, FAKE, or the characters.
A/N: Decided to post them all in one post here. I can separate them out for posting to my journals at a later date.



Mini Summer Bingo Blackout... )

Note to Self

2017-06-27 09:24
redsixwing: Red-winged angel staring at a distant star. (Default)
[personal profile] redsixwing
food )
executrix: (vote)
[personal profile] executrix posting in [community profile] thisfinecrew
HHS is accepting public comments on the AHCA/Better Care Reconciliation Act. All you have to do is either sign your name to a canned comment, or write your own:

https://act.credoaction.com/sign/trumpcare_public_comments?t=5&akid=23825.12952682.neY85u

Book Recs and News

2017-06-27 09:49
marthawells: (Reading)
[personal profile] marthawells
News: If you missed it yesterday, there are going to be two more Murderbot novellas for a total of four, and 2, 3, and 4 are all coming out next year.


***

(If you've been following my book rec and new book listing posts for a while, you may have noticed this already, but while most book lists emphasize books by popular straight white men, this one emphasizes everybody else. I include books by straight white men, but in about the same percentage that other book lists include everybody else. I also try to highlight books that are less well known.)

(I only link to one retail outlet in the book's listing, but most books are available at multiple outlets, like Kobo, iBooks, international Amazons, Barnes & Noble, etc. The short stories are usually on free online magazines.)


Short story: The White-throated Transmigrant by E. Lily Yu


* Miles Morales - A Spider Man Novel by Jason Reynolds
Miles Morales is just your average teenager. Dinner every Sunday with his parents, chilling out playing old-school video games with his best friend, Ganke, crushing on brainy, beautiful poet Alicia. He's even got a scholarship spot at the prestigious Brooklyn Visions Academy. Oh yeah, and he's Spider Man.


* Bright Thrones by Kate Elliott
An exciting e-novella set in the world of the New York Times bestselling Court of Fives, from World Fantasy Award finalist Kate Elliott!


* Drawing Dead by SM Reine
The vampire slayer is turning into a vampire? Over her dead body. Dana McIntyre has been bitten by a master vampire. She's infected with the venom. And after killing hundreds of vampires to keep Las Vegas safe, she'd rather die than turn.


* Kangaroo Too by Curtis C. Chen
On the way home from his latest mission, secret agent Kangaroo’s spacecraft is wrecked by a rogue mining robot. The agency tracks the bot back to the Moon, where a retired asteroid miner—code named “Clementine” —might have information about who’s behind the sabotage. Clementine will only deal with Jessica Chu, Kangaroo’s personal physician and a former military doctor once deployed in the asteroid belt. Kangaroo accompanies Jessica as a courier, smuggling Clementine’s payment of solid gold in the pocket universe that only he can use.


* The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter by Theodora Goss
Mary Jekyll, alone and penniless following her parents’ death, is curious about the secrets of her father’s mysterious past. One clue in particular hints that Edward Hyde, her father’s former friend and a murderer, may be nearby, and there is a reward for information leading to his capture...a reward that would solve all of her immediate financial woes. But her hunt leads her to Hyde’s daughter, Diana, a feral child left to be raised by nuns. With the assistance of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, Mary continues her search for the elusive Hyde, and soon befriends more women, all of whom have been created through terrifying experimentation: Beatrice Rappaccini, Catherin Moreau, and Justine Frankenstein.


* Mapping the Interior by Stephen Graham Jones
Blackfeet author Stephen Graham Jones brings readers a spine-tingling Native American horror novella. Walking through his own house at night, a fifteen-year-old thinks he sees another person stepping through a doorway. Instead of the people who could be there, his mother or his brother, the figure reminds him of his long-gone father, who died mysteriously before his family left the reservation. When he follows it he discovers his house is bigger and deeper than he knew.


* Shattered Minds by Laura Lam
Carina used to be one of the best biohackers in Pacifica. But when she worked for Sudice and saw what the company's experiments on brain recording were doing to their subjects, it disturbed her—especially because she found herself enjoying giving pain and contemplating murder. She quit and soon grew addicted to the drug Zeal, spending most of her waking moments in a horror-filled dream world where she could act out her depraved fantasies without actually hurting anyone.


* The Last Good Man by Linda Nagata
carred by war, in pursuit of truth: Army veteran True Brighton left the service when the development of robotic helicopters made her training as a pilot obsolete. Now she works at Requisite Operations, a private military company established by friend and former Special Ops soldier Lincoln Han. ReqOp has embraced the new technologies. Robotics, big data, and artificial intelligence are all tools used to augment the skills of veteran warfighters-for-hire. But the tragedy of war is still measured in human casualties, and when True makes a chance discovery during a rescue mission, old wounds are ripped open. She’s left questioning what she knows of the past, and resolves to pursue the truth, whatever the cost.


* Mars Girls by Mary Turzillo
What Nanoannie and Kapera find at the Smythe’s Pharm is more than the girls bargained for. The hab has been trashed and there are dead bodies buried in the backyard! If that wasn’t bad enough, the girls crash the rover and Kapera gets kidnapped by Facers who claim her parents are murderers! Between Renegade Nuns, Facers, and corp geeks, Nanoannie and Kapera don’t know who to trust or where to go. Kapera only wants to find her parents so they can get to Earth Orbitals and she can be treated for her leukemia. Nanoannie wants to help her friend and experience a little bit of Mars before selling her contract to the first corp that offers to buy it.
yhlee: sleepy kitty (Cloud)
[personal profile] yhlee
For P.H.
Prompt: "ghost consciousness."

The house had lain ruined for decades upon decades, quiescent at the edge of the town. Once, it was said, a fine family had dwelled there, wealthy at first, much given to parties and entertainments. The oldest people in the town still remembered the parties: the music of string quartets, and cakes decorated with spun-sugar ornaments, and couples dancing gaily through the night. But now none of the windows had glass in them anymore, save for a few sharded teeth, and the wind blew freely through the rooms where people had once gathered to gossip.

Nevertheless, the house was not entirely uninhabited. A ghost remained attached to the house, and it murmured to itself during the long winter nights, singing tuneless ghost-songs of the shapes that shadows make in the dark, and the sounds that mirrors make when no one is around to hear them, and footsteps in the distant wood. The ghost did not remember the name of the person it had been, once upon a time, but neither did this make it unhappy.

In time a pregnant cat moved into the house for the shelter it offered. The ghost did not remember much about cats, except that they liked cream, and it had no such thing to give the cat. But it had other things to offer. It encouraged the old closets to throw their doors open and disgorge their rotted linens so that the cat would have something to nest in, and it offered all house's hiding places, as well as the lullaby of the crooning wind.

For her part, the cat was a pragmatist. She did not share human prejudices against ghosts, and a ruined house was as good as any other place for her to raise kittens. She merely made sure that there were no raccoons or the like already occupying the place, and then she set to building her nest in earnest.

Cats are not the most talkative of folk, but this cat was friendlier than most. She asked the ghost why it lingered in the house, instead of going to its rest the way humans usually did. While she didn't always put credence in human stories, she had heard that ghosts usually stayed in the realm of the living because they had left some task unfinished.

The ghost said to the cat, "The only task is the task of the house itself. It was my home when I lived, and it remains my home in death."

"Then I am sorry I cannot help you," the cat said, dismayed in spite of the very pressing matter of the kittens she expected to arrive in a matter of days. "A human could help you restore the house, but I am a cat. I may have clever paws and whiskers, but they are no good for building."

The ghost's laughter gusted through the house, although it tried to keep the worst of the cold from the cat. "What do I care about restoration?" it said. "Perhaps once, when I had flesh, it would have mattered to me. But now I am a creature of shadows and dust and ash, and this house suits what I am now. I can keep it safe for you and your kittens. They can play in the house's halls and grow to adulthood without fear of being chased out by human owners; is that not enough?"

"If that is the case," the cat replied, "I shall gratefully accept your hospitality, and my kittens and I will keep your house free of mice."

"It is a very old bargain," the ghost said, "and if it suits you, it suits me."

Two days later, the kittens were born without fuss, or more fuss than the usual, anyway, and in the years to come, generations of cats made their home in the house. They probably live there still. As for the ghost, it has been busy adding the songs of cats to its repertoire. The result is noisy, but none of them mind.

Invisible 3 Release Day

2017-06-27 10:49
jimhines: (Snoopy Writing)
[personal profile] jimhines

Invisible 3 CoverINVISIBLE 3, a collection of 18 essays and poems about representation in SF/F, is out today! The ebook is edited by myself and Mary Anne Mohanraj, and is available at:

Amazon | B&N | Kobo | iBooks | Smashwords | Google Play

As with the first two volumes in this series, all profits go to benefit Con or Bust.

Here’s the full table of contents:

  • Introduction by K. Tempest Bradford
  • Heroes and Monsters, by T. S. Bazelli
  • Notes from the Meat Cage, by Fran Wilde
  • What Color Are My Heroes? by Mari Kurisato
  • The Zeroth Law Of Sex in Science Fiction, by Jennifer Cross
  • Our Hyperdimensional Mesh of Identities, by Alliah
  • Erasing Athena, Effacing Hestia, by Alex Conall
  • Not So Divergent After All, by Alyssa Hillary
  • Skins, by Chelsea Alejandro
  • The Doctor and I, by Benjamin Rosenbaum
  • My Family Isn’t Built By Blood, by Jaime O. Mayer
  • Lost in Space: A Messy Voyage Through Fictional Universes, by Carrie Sessarego
  • Decolonise The Future, by Brandon O’Brien
  • Natives in Space, by Rebecca Roanhorse
  • I Would Fly With Dragons, by Sean Robinson
  • Adventures in Online Dating, by Jeremy Sim
  • Of Asian-Americans and Bellydancing Wookiees, by Dawn Xiana Moon
  • Shard of a Mirage, by MT O’Shaughnessy
  • Unseen, Unheard, by Jo Gerrard

Huge thanks to the contributors for sharing their stories and experiences. I’ve learned so much from earlier volumes in this series, and this one was no different.

And hey, if you haven’t seen the previous volumes…

INVISIBLE: Amazon | B&N | Kobo | iBooks | Smashwords | Google Play

INVISIBLE 2: Amazon | B&N | Kobo | iBooks | Smashwords | Google Play

If you’re a reviewer and would like a copy, please contact me and let me know your preferred format and where your reviews are published.

Mirrored from Jim C. Hines.

[syndicated profile] ikeahacker_feed

Posted by Contributor

Long wooden TV stand IKEA Stolmen hack

When moving to a new flat often some (all) things change. “I have all furniture I need” mostly costs around 1k Euro….

I had a black Stolmen with black topping for years and wanted things a bit brighter in my new flat. So I searched eBay for the old Stolmen …

I ended up lucky with enough parts to build this TV Stand, a wardrobe and a cat scratching post and tree.

Here we used one wide and two narrow Stolmen drawers. The frame is built from wooden counter tops which I did not buy from IKEA. To keep things movable the drawers are only screwed tho the frame. And the frame itself is also only held together by wooden lamella anchors. But the top countertop is heavy enough to keep things in place.

To bring the TV stand up a bit from the ground we screwed two old wardrobe doors from IKEA I had left over underneath it.

Long wooden TV stand IKEA Stolmen hack

The hack was build by my sister and my brother-in-law.

~ Thomas, Germany


Other ways to build a TV stand with IKEA STOLMEN

- Hang it for a floating effect

Hanging TV stand

- Mount a projector for the at-home-cinema experience

Stolmen projector mount

- With poles apart for your flat TV

Floating TV stand

- Industrial style with plenty of storage

Industrial style STOLMEN media unit

- As a multimedia rack

Stolmen multimedia rack


The post Long TV stand from IKEA Stolmen appeared first on IKEA Hackers.

Britishness

2017-06-27 10:12
chickenfeet: (penguin)
[personal profile] chickenfeet
 As the Brexit express hurtles towards the abyss I though I'd ask a question that's been bothering me for a while.  I'd it as a poll but I can't so please comment.  Leaving aside strictly legal definitions (I understand the technical difference between the status of the Isle of Man and Ascension Island) who is "British".  Below is a list of territories and what I want you to consider is for which of these should the inhabitants be considered British:
  • The Channel Islands
  • The Isle of Man
  • Northern Ireland
  • The Falkland Islands
  • Ascension Island
  • South Georgia
  • St. Helena
  • The Pitcairn Islands
  • Gibraltar
  • Malta
  • Hong Kong
  • Victoria BC
Go on.  I'm curious.

Vicariously Disabled.

2017-06-27 10:07
theferrett: (Meazel)
[personal profile] theferrett

I doubt he even remembers enraging me. But I almost screamed at him.

I’m still not sure whether it was his fault.

But let’s rewind. I have a friend who has pretty severe walking issues – he gets only so many steps in a day before he collapses. Most days he can get to nightfall without needing a walker – and he works hard, very hard, not to be seen as a burden.

More so, he struggles to be seen as a person. If you’ve never friended someone with a disability, you don’t quite understand how a visible handicap can eclipse someone’s personality. People tend to assume that everyone in a wheelchair acts the same – they talk a little louder, a little slower, they’re quicker to dismiss their opinions because really, do they know what they want?

Disabled people struggle to be seen. And my friend, well, he worked really hard to be more than his disability –

– which meant he pushed himself hard at conventions. Lots of covert sweating, casually leaning on bars, sitting down when they could. Because if he displayed weakness, the conversation would shift from all the happy things that made his life worthwhile and would focus on “Are you all right?” – which is a question he asks himself entirely too damn much as it is.

He wanted the con to be a vacation and not an explanation. Which was why his disability was, largely, not quite a secret among friends but something where the extent wasn’t entirely revealed unless you were in the know.

And my friend had held up well during the day but was starting to fade in the evening. He was looking for, well, let’s call him The Guy Ultimately I Wanted To Yell At, or Tguiwtya.

He was looking for Tguiwtya. Because he was good friends with Tguiwtya, and and wanted a few moments to hang with Tguiwtya to hang out before he collapsed. And my friend texted Tguiwtya to say “Hey, I’m on my way,” and Tguiwtya had said “I’m in the back of the ballroom.”

Tguiwtya was not in the back of the ballroom.

I ran into my friend, looking exhausted, who asked me if I’d seen Tguiwtya. I knew he’d walked all the way down from their room to meet Tguiwtya, exhausting the very last of his daily steps, and getting back up to the room would be an effort. I said I hadn’t.

He plopped into a chair, sweaty, miserable, waiting for Tguiwtya to show. I kept him company, brought him water. But Tguiwtya wasn’t responding to texts. And eventually, my friend said, “Well, let’s see if I can find him,” and staggered off, leaning heavily on his cane.

I wondered if he was going to make it.

I left. And lo, a couple of hallways down, there was Tguiwtya! Merrily laughing with a bunch of his friends. I collared him.

“Hey. Our friend’s walking the halls looking for you.”

He looked puzzled, as if unsure why I’d bring such a trivial thing to his attention. “Yeah,” he said. “That’s fine.”

I almost screamed.

What I wanted to yell was, “Do you fucking realize how much effort it takes for my friend to find you? You said your dumb ass would be at the back of the ballroom, and they exerted themselves to get to you because they like you, and now they’re straining themselves to find you again, and your answer should not be some pudding-faced ‘that’s fine’ but ‘Yes, sir, I will get right on that.'”

Then I saw Tguiwtya’s friends, crooking their necks at me.

Did I want to make a scene?

Was it worth looking like a fucking maniac in front of all these people, just to make a point about someone’s condition? Because they didn’t know. They couldn’t understand unless I literally barged into their conversation, twisted it, made it about this, and….

Oh.

Shit, that’s gotta be what it’s like all the time, isn’t it?

Let’s be honest: Tguiwtya should have fucking known how much effort it took my friend to walk all the way down to meet him. I know for a fact that my buddy had talked to Tguiwtya about his illness. He was one of the inner circle, one of the folks who’d pushed a walker for my friend.

But how many times do you want to call some able-bodied person out for not comprehending something that they cannot experience? For Tguiwtya, “walking to the ballroom and back” was such a trivial effort that I doubt he even contemplated it as an effort.

Would I be damaging Tguiwtya’s friendship with my friend by explaining what an accidental asshole they were being?

That was, I realized, a brief window into being disabled. People don’t see your illness, even when you make it clear to them. They can’t comprehend that this background static of their lives could be a deafening uproar to anyone else.

And you always get to choose: make an embarrassing fuss and maybe get accommodated, maybe get rejected – or keep the peace and keep a friendship that means less but at least you get to keep it?

To this day, I’m still not sure if I should have yelled at him. Maybe I should. But he wasn’t my friend, and even if he was, I’m not sure I wanted to dress him down in front of a crowd of people.

What I do know is that I doubt Tguiwtya even ponders that moment. If he does, he thinks of me as the asshole who gave him a vicious side-eye when he didn’t break off his amusing anecdote to rush to meet our friend in the ballroom.

But I remember.

I learned something that day.

I hope I learned to listen.

Cross-posted from Ferrett's Real Blog.

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